...then congratulations, somebody signed you up for reddit mold. Here are the features you'll be enjoying today:
New comment limits
You know how you can load up to 500 comments at once? Say goodbye to that limit! Every time somebody gives you reddit mold, it goes down by 10. So if you get mold fifty times, you won't see any comments at all. Think of the time you'll save.
Streamlined posting
Got a keyboard with a broken letter E? No problem! With reddit mold, you're no longer allowed to use that letter anyway — just like a modern-day Ernest Vincent Wright. In fact, every time someone gives you reddit mold, you lose another letter. (Note: the letters M, P, and H are excluded, so that you can always say, "mmph! MMMPH!")
Mark of Honor
All reddit mold subscribers will be distinguished with a number:
Each time you get another helping of mold, the number goes up. This way, everyone will know how awesome you are. And if they go to your userpage, they'll see exactly which letters you're still allowed to use. There's also a beautiful trophy courtesy, as always, of licenseplate.
Exclusive community
When you sign up for reddit gold, you get the option of subscribing to a secret members-only lounge. Oops, so much for the "secret" part. Anyway, we wanted to do something similar for reddit mold, so we created /r/basement, a special place for mold subscribers. Or anyone else, in fact; it's a public reddit that anyone can post to. However, there's a special bonus if you have mold: for your convenience, you get to see /r/basement links on your front page even if you accidentally try to unsubscribe from it. Stay informed!
Gift notes
Every reddit mold subscription comes with a gift note. You'll be reminded of your benefactor's words every time you visit a page on reddit. Don't forget to thank them!
And, if you see any good April Fools pranks on reddit or elsewhere, submit them to: http://www.reddit.com/r/AprilFools2011
Don't forget that if you buy a reddit gold creddit, you will get a mold spore so you can * If you bought reddit gold (and therefore mold spores) any time after our last blog post, but haven't gotten it yet, please mark your payment as disputed so we can address the problem. It appears that a few of the purchases didn't go through. Sorry, and thanks!
